hairography

The early morning of turning on the straightener beep... beep; it’s ready. The uncomfortable feeling of actually knowing that she’s frying her hair makes her regret not blow drying at night after her shower. Waking up with curls that barley come out and bangs flipped the other way is so stressful. Going to school, she never does what she’s told, strands of hair everywhere, and bumps as big as a rock and tangly as vines in a jungle. The long, brown, 70 hair is crazy to begin with is very complicated. She has a lot of problems and won’t ever listen, but towards the end of the day she falls into place and works every time.

Comments: Voice-The voice was good, could have a little more talking, your hair sounds like it does not like you very much. Word Choice-Good word choice and vocab, it really brings out the story Figurative Language-Personification could be a little better, needs to be in first person. Inferences-It seems like you don't like your hair.